Every couple of years, my friend Tom DeMarco turns the computing world upside down with a new book. Sometimes he writes alone (see, for example, Slack: getting past burnout, busywork, and the myth of total efficiency and The Deadline: a novel about project management). Often, he writes with our mutual friend and colleague, Tim Lister (see, for example., Peopleware: productive projects and teams, and Waltzing with Bears: managing risk on software projects). But this year, Tom has teamed up with all of his colleagues at the Atlantic Systems Guild — James and Suzanne Robertson, Steve McMenamin, and Peter Hruschka, along with Tim — to write an utterly delightful collection of essays about 86 “project patterns,” under the heading of Adrenalin Junkies and Template Zombies: understanding patterns of project behavior.

These “patterns” are grimly familiar to anyone who has worked in project-related organizations; and unfortunately, they can be found in small companies as well as large ones. Fortunately, some of the patterns (“Rattle Yer Dags” and “Nanny,” for example) are good ones, and should be encouraged. Sadly, though, far too many of them (“Dead Fish”, “Project-Speak”) are not only depressingly familiar, but astonishingly destructive to productivity, quality, and the morale of the project team.

None of us will be able to memorize the titles of all 86 essays, especially when some of them (like “Rattle Yer Dags”) are somewhat cryptic. And in some organizations, it might be an act of political suicide to yell out, “Dead Fish!” in when the project manager convenes a status meeting for a project that everyone else knows was doomed from the very beginning. Maybe we need to use code words, like that old joke about the comedians who were so familiar with one another’s jokes, that they began referring to them by number:

“43!” the fledgling comedian yelled out to an audience of veteran comedians who had come to watch his first performance.

Nobody laughed. Nor did they laugh at 83, 29, or even the utterly hilarious 17 … and, I mean, who could not laugh at 17?

Perplexed, the young comedian asked his mentor, “Why didn’t they laugh when I said 43?”

“It’s not what the number is,” the veteran patiently explained to his young friend, “it’s how you say it …”

I really love this book, not the least because each pattern can be read and understood in a moment or two, since they take only 2-3 pages to explain. The real trick, I think, will be getting people to be brave enough to call them out when they are seen. Here’s a prediction: if you can encourage a few brave souls to shout “J’accuse!” whenever they see one of these patterns occurring in your organization, you’ll soon be able to remove all those Dilbert cartoons from the office bulletin board. If Adrenalin Junkies and Template Zombies gets the attention it deserves, Scott Adams may have to return to Corporate America and get an honest job as a project manager.

And maybe we won’t have any more Dead Fish …